welcome... bookmark this site !!!

gimme contact
gimme goals
gimme a plan
gimme no hang ups!
lifestyle diet
marvelous miscellany
lifestyle exercise
exercise defeat
endurance training
strength training
tai chi
water aerobics
lifestyle sleep
lifestyle relaxation
relaxation breathing
relaxation techniques
lifestyle counseling
behavioral therapy
cognitive behavioral therapy
electroconvulsive therapy
group therapy
interpersonal therapy
lifestyle medications
lifestyle emotions & feelings
lifestyle quit smoking
relationships - making some changes
welcome to changes!
click the bar to read more about the link words!
this network of sites are non profit & personal

the emotional feelings network of sites is a not for profit personal network of sites offering information for self help purposes. In no way should the information within this site replace advice given to you by a medical or mental health professional. Please, take the time to notify your doctor of any changes you intend upon making concerning your diet, exercise, relaxation, sleep, counseling or medications.
the emotional feelings network of sites works on a navigational system designed for ultimate education and understanding of all topics. Upon educating and understanding the information within the network it will be the most beneficial experience for you to make changes or take action in your life for change. 
All underlined link words open up a new window instead of changing your present one, taking you to another site within the emotional feelings network of sites - or to another site referencing the underlined link word!
If you have any questions, comments, concerns or would like to communicate with me via e-mail by clicking here!

Are you able to accept some simple advice?
think about accepting just some simple advice...

 It's very important that you visit the: keeping in touch page!
Reason being: If you're here because you're searching for an answer to your feelings of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, feeling sick, or just general feelings of misery in your life - you need to find a volunteer opportunity that you feel comfortable with.
You can help yourself by helping others. You might not think so; but it's true. Find something you can do to help some worthy causes. "Keeping in Touch" will show you some important causes that need you!
Why not just click here now to get it over with! So even if you leave this site after finding some information concerning an emotion or feeling... you'll also leave with the seed of thought concerning volunteer work that might produce some results bringing you a sense of accomplishment & find yourself feeling better!


By Phil Ochs

Sit by my side, come as close as the air,
Share in a memory of gray
And wander in my words, dream about the pictures
That I play of changes.
Green leaves of summer turn red in the fall
To brown and to yellow they fade.
And then they have to die,
trapped within the circle time parade of changes.
Scenes of my young years were warm in my mind,
Visions of shadows that shine.
'Til one day I returned and found they were the
Victims of the vines of changes.
The world's spinning madly,
it drifts in the dark
Swings through a hollow of haze,
A race around the stars,
a journey through
The universe ablaze with changes.
Moments of magic will glow in the night
All fears of the forest are gone
But when the morning breaks they're swept away by
Golden drops of dawn, of changes.
Passions will part to a strange melody.
As fires will sometimes burn cold.
Like petals in the wind,
we're puppets to the silver strings of souls, of changes.
Your tears will be trembling, now we're somewhere else,
One last cup of wine we will pour
And I'll kiss you one more time, and leave you on the rolling river shores of changes.
(repeat first verse)
Note to you all: I fell in love with this song that was dedicated to a friend of mine who passed away this year. I was amazed that this would be the perfect place for it.

You would be surprised! Simple daily changes in your everyday rituals may make a difference for our environment. Please, read the article connected below by clicking on the links. Listen to me please, doing simple positive actions, that are not only helping the world and our environment - will also increase your confidence, self esteem & sense of purpose!


The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;


Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost


welcome... quiet your spirit for study....
The Attentive Spirit

Welcome everyone....

changes is here to support you...
the site for those in search of a new lifestyle... 


"Throw back the shoulders, let the heart sing, let the eyes flash, let the mind be lifted up, look upward & say to yourself: Nothing is impossible!"


Norman Vincent Peale

positive vs. negative thinking


learn to leave "negativity" by the wayside to adopt "positive lifestyle changes!" read about deciding what your goals are, making a plan to achieve your goals & becoming an active force in your own lifestyle changes for success!

slowly absorb the information....
click here
click this banner to visit try recovering 101!
click here`

lifestyle changes

may include some self discovery...
mental health assessment...
repositioning of priorites...

a "mental illness" can keep us from feeling physically well...

learn about mental illness at the emotional feelings network's, anxieties 101.

capture balance in your life & family & once you do....  mold it, refine it & never forget its importance & treasure it!....read more about it at emotional feelings, 3! click on the word "balance" to get there now! 

if you've traveled here from another site in the emotional feelings network of sites, you're already aware of what's going on here.... it's all about changes!
this site takes the subject of change - one step further!
You can read about "accepting change" at the layer down under (another site in the network). But implementing change is another subject that we take care of here! How to get yourself in the changing mode, making tough decisions, handling the frustration, the agonies of defeat & keeping yourself in mind - to forgive & changing all over again!

slowly absorb the information....

You're excited!
That's understandable! You've been working on personal growth. That's a very time consuming, confusing journey to undertake! I'm so proud of you for taking it on! But, it's so difficult to know what to do next! Once you've decided to change your diet, your lifestyle exercise, your relaxation habits, your sleep habits... examining your feelings & emotions, taking on counseling & even.... maybe taking new meds, if you're experiencing a mental illness - it seems like your head is so full of new information that it's difficult to make something happen. You're overwhelmed!
This site takes off where the other sites in the emotional feelings network of sites end. You're learning lots of new info concerning making your life full of peace & well being. There's so much to do that you could easily just sit back and stay the way you are! But you're making a choice to get better & changes wants to help!

If you're arriving here from a search engine or because someone has recommended the site, here's a brief overview of the emotional feelings network of sites!


 Tips for navigating thru the emotional feelings network of sites!

please read each paragraph below carefully so you can understand & consider how these sites can be helpful for you.

Site Note: every emotion or feeling page has a dictionary definition at the top of the page.

reading the dictionary definition can set the stage for the following articles you'll find for that specific emotion or feeling. you will find as posted below:

the named emotion or feeling

the most pertinent definitions for that word

some pages includes quotations pertinent to the specific emotion or feeling

volunteer for our troops!
click here to read about volunteering

click here!  Bob Woodruff: Turning Personal Injury Into Public Inquiry click here!
I was personally very touched by this inspiring story as I watched it on television last night (2/27/07); especially after I experienced a life altering injury which took me 2 years to recover from.
What I want to ask you is...
If you can't help out with the helmets, below for our military men, can you volunteer or help our returning soldiers who are recovering with extreme traumatic brain injury?
Here are some links!
Check them out, I know that my family will be searching for a way we can help! Remember, extreme or traumatic physical injuries affect mental health as well.

What is Operation Helmet?

Founded in 2003 by Dr. Robert H. Meaders whose grandson is an active duty Marine in Iraq, Operation Helmet is a nonpartisan 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to providing safer helmet pad upgrade kits to the troops in Iraq & Afghanistan. To date, more than 6,000 kits have been shipped to the troops in the field.

click on this bar to visit the website!
click here!
visit the website! our guys need your help!

feature #1: underlined link words
I believe & work very hard to offer this special feature within all of the emotional feelings network of sites webpages. When you read thru the articles, definitions or quotations - you will see the underlined link words (all emotion & feeling words, as well as other specifically pertinent to recovery & personal growth words) that are offered for you to delve even further into the meaning of the information being displayed.
The reason I believe this so important for you in recovery from many dysfunctions or personal growth efforts is that often we can't make progress until we allow ourselves to be open to all possibilities & allow ourselves to develop a sense of curiosity.
When you click on the underlined link words - a new window will always open - leaving you with the original window of information that you began with. You don't have to delete your original window, just minimize it until you have looked over your new & additional information concerning the emotion or feeling underlined link word you clicked on.
There are also underlined link words for additional resources offered to you as in:
  • It's in the News... article titles you can click on that will open in a new browser window as well - that are pertinent & up to date with information concerning the emotion or feeling word featured on the page

  • Very Important Additional Resources....article titles or website addresses for additional resource information that is very valuable - no need to search the web on a search engine - these sites are pertinent & timely in their presentations

  • Article & Book Titles within an article.... you'll find article links for articles copyrighted & not posted at the authors request, but too valuable to leave out, additional referred to articles as posted by the author of the article & links to websites that the author refers to within the articles.


feature #2: the emotional feelings network of sites

Throughout the 3 years I've been working on these sites, the information base has grown immensely. I found that personally, while my research began with learning about mental illness, I progressed in my personal growth & recovery until I realized that it was essential that I work on my unresolved feelings & emotions - learning to identify what I have been feeling & not dealing with throughout my life - to begin to resolve dysfunctional events in my life. 

In beginning to study emotions & feelings I found that so many emotions & feelings were intertwined with each other that I began to have to add more emotions & feelings to my original "one" emotional feelings site.

Then I discovered as well that our unresolved emotions & feelings are directly tied into our mental illnesses, dysfunctional thinking, false or misguided beliefs, eating disorders, lifestyle habits, etc. until I realized that the only possible option was to include a network of sites that would link everything together.

This is another reason why the underlined link word system is so important. the underlined link words will take you throughout a network of sites that pertain to many important subjects.


using feature #2:

All emotions & feelings are in alphabetical order. You will travel through the underlined link words throughout the emotional feelings network of sites.

This is the index of all the sites you'll find within the network:

Emotional Feelings: containing all feelings & emotions that begin with “a” 

Emotional Feelings, 3: containing all feelings & emotions beginning with the letter "b"

Emotional Feelings, too: containing all feelings & emotions that begin with “c”

Emotional Feelings, 4: containing all feelings & emotions that begin with the letter "d"

Feeling Emotional, too: containing all feelings & emotions beginning with the letters “e & f ”

Feeling Emotional, 4: containing all feelings & emotions beginning with the letters "g thru i"

Feeling Emotional, 3: containing all feelings & emotions beginning with the letters "j thru n"

Feeling Emotional: containing all feelings & emotions beginning with the letters “o thru r”

extremely emotional: containing all feelings & emotions beginning with the letter "s thru w" 

your "Un"emotional Side: This site highlights all feelings & emotions using the prefix "un" before them - i.e., unaware, unacceptable, uncontrollable, unsuccessful....

the layer down under: this site offers more than feelings & emotions! the subjects contained in the layer down under are highlighted in the lefthand column to give you the feel of some important topics you'll need to consider in feeling & emotion work as well as general personal growth or recovery processes.

the self pages: containing the topics that are prefixed with the word, "self" - such as self acceptance, self actualization, self defeated, self help, self love, etc.

anxieties 101: this site contains information concerning the following topics. you can click on any of the underlined title words to travel over to that specific page if you see something that you are immediately interested in!

what is mental illness?

anxiety disorders

generalized & social anxiety disorders: separation anxiety mentioned as well

caregiver anxiety

panic disorder: information regarding panic attacks included

phobias: specific phobias, social phobia, agoraphobia - additional page linked off of this page: the phobia list

obsessive compulsive disorder: mention of other obsessive compulsive disorder (tourettes, etc.)

post traumatic stress disorder: acute stress disorder

since depression is very often co-existing with the above anxiety disorders as well as emotions & feelings, eating disorders, abuse & other forms of dysfunction, there's plenty of information regarding depression & other mood, or affective disorders included.

depression page: links to other depression information within the site - additional pages linked off of this page: bipolar disorder, mood & affective disorders

how it all works: this page is offered because I found the information very important in understanding mental illness & recovery processes, how your brain works, how your brain is linked to many subjects, etc. as well as a glossary of mental health terms...

the more you learn about mental illness, the more you begin to realize about how prevalent it is within different age groups. therefore, i've broken it down into different age levels on each of the following pages...

children & mental illness: topics concerning children & mental illness as well as info concerning the currently being developed site, children 101 - this site can be accessed while being developed! additional pages linked off of this page: parenting 101

teens & mental illness: different topics concerning teens & mental illness for parents to look over as well as info about the teenscene site!

young adults & mental illness: what concerns young adults directly in relationship with mental health & well being, i.e., college, eating disorders & other issues

men & mental illness: what concerns men directly with mental health & lifestyle, parenting, job related issues

women & mental illness: what concerns women directly in relationship with mental health, parenting, career & other issues -separate page for women about hormonal changes & connection with mental illness

seniors & mental illness:what concerns seniors directly in relationship with mental health, life transitions & other issues

lifestyle factors have a huge link to our mental health. through my research i found that i needed education concerning my lifestyle habits that had a great bearing on my well being, so i included lifestyle pages on this site as well.

lifestyle diet: it's surprising to learn the ramifications of a nutritious diet in relationship with your mental health & well being!

lifestyle exercise: a direct connection to mental health! the importance of exercise in your life!

lifestyle sleep: information regarding sleep habits, sleep, sleep hygeine & the importance of sleep in relation to mental health....additional pages linked from this page: insomnia, special sleep problems in children

lifestyle relaxation: descriptions concerning different relaxation techniques & explanations as to how important relaxation is in our lives

lifestyle counseling: explanations of different kinds of counseling, the importance of counseling, definitions concerning counseling, etc.

lifestyle medications: information concerning medications used for different mental illness & sleep disorders

disasters unpredicted: page accessed from this page: understanding trauma

the following is a separate site you may visit with the emotional feelings network of sites!

night eating: i experienced this eating/sleeping disorder for most of my life & finally beat it. this website offers information concerning eating & sleeping disorder & pays particular attention to night eating syndrome!

teenscene: this site is for teens, similar to anxieties101!


feature #3: special word definitions!
some authors use some pretty strange words in their articles, so i highlight words that may be difficult to understand with the color pink! the definition is then included at the bottom of that page!
feature #4:
at the bottom of each page there is a link to the site where the articles displayed on each page came from, unless, of course, i have accessed that information somewhere & an unknown source was listed.
feature # 5: some articles by yours truly!
you'll find the notation, "personal note:" or sometimes just an article with my name, "kathleen," or "kathleen howe" as the author. i try to write on each homepage an article entitled, "i just gotta say it!" all participation by yours truly is totally dependent on how much time i have available for it...


read a special "just gotta say it" column at the layer down under, concerning porn addictions by clicking here!


who knows who lies behind the guise of those sick & negative thoughts & feelings within you?


what are you choosing to reach for when upset?


Visiting The Layer Down Under: click the underlined link!

The Layer Down Under at one time, was included in the spare space on each site and consists of additional information that wasn't accessible thru our navigational menu on the left hand side of each page. The Layer Down Under is a source of information concerning the tools that you'll need to "dig in deep" while exploring your emotions & feelings. 

I named it The Layer Down Under because as you'll soon discover, if you haven't already, that there are layers & layers of unresolved emotions & feelings buried deep within each of us.

To get down beneath the very first layer of them all, you need to learn some additional information that will help you understand how to resolve those old hurts, raw open & sore emotions that have been underlying everything you have done in your life.

Discover one emotion & be sure that it's secondary to the original or another emotion that's above the original emotion experienced during your traumas. That's the way it works.... Just peel back the layers down under to learn more & more buried information. 

Subjects covered in The Layer Down Under....

are you or someone you know, gambling too much?

Addictions - Drug & Alcohol Abuse, Gambling, Smoking, and more...  Becoming addicted to something is a negative coping mechanism that we use to keep us from feeling the pain we have inside us...

what does your expression say about attitude?

Attitudes... What's yours?

We all have attitudes. Learn more about how your attitude affects your daily life & impedes your progress in self growth & discover.....


Beliefs - Extracting False Ones....

We all have beliefs. Most of our belief systems were formed when we were children living in a dysfunctional world...  often times learned from our parents who were dysfunctional themselves....

are you too thin & still unhappy about your body?

Body Image....

I myself have lived w/an eating disorder for most of my life, "night eating syndrome." Professionals aren't quite sure what to do with this disorder yet. Although it was discovered in the 1950's, professionals haven't studied much about it.... I believe that my negative body image sold me on eating at night for comfort among other things....  Read more about what people are facing these days w/their own body image issues....

learn to accept change with a smile on your face

Accepting Change....

Change isn't easy. We all get used to doing things a certain way & although we may know it's not the "best" way for us that we do these things... it's so hard to accept that we have to change. Acceptance is the first detail to work on when we're talking about changing ourselves....

imagine the feelings & emotions you'd have here...



This page is just about emotions, not one in particular, but about how we deal with our emotions, the importance of emotions, what happens to our emotions if we don't feel them & end up stuffing them - also about kids & their emotions as well as teens!


The same goes for this "feelings page." About feelings generally, why we experience feelings, what we do with them, what we don't do with them that we should as well as other general information concerning feelings... it's an interesting page!

suddenly learn how to do something, it just clicks


While professionals & experts, well - you know - those educated people, maybe like you, are out their in their worlds of business, finance, and other mainstays of our modern world, there seems to be an elemnet of doubt concerning some of the subjects contained in The Layer Down Under...
Like... how important is it for us to look for insightful information in our every day lives?...  After being raised by well educated parents who didn't know anything about "insight" I can rightfully say that most people are letting their educations get in the way of this important factor that they're missing out on in their educated lives....  that's right, i said it.... don't be too educated to miss out on concentrating on the insightful information you may be missing in your daily life, this page talks about that abit!



Another blessing often passed by is the gift of inspiration. How open are you to allowing yourself to be touched by an inspiring message? How hard do some of you work to look the other way, saying, "this is crap...." instead of pondering on what could be a very inspiring message?


This is an interesting topic that I've wanted to cover from the beginning of my website ventures.... you could say,

"I've had the intention of covering this topic since the beginning of the emotional feelings network, perhaps because it hits so close to home (being a personal interest) that I've procrastinated a bit about it." Just what do your intentions say about you as an individual? How come many of us fall short on fulfilling our good intentions? An interesting topic - are you willing to ask yourself some important questions?


Just how intuitive do you allow yourself to be?

Do you hold any stock whatsoever in what your intuition tells you?

Maybe you should check out this page to find out the importance of being open & present enough to rely on your intuition for making important decisions.

it feels so good to let go of negative feelings!

Letting Go.... Do you know how?

After we discover that underneath our anger with life there's an open wound left behind from abandonment, abuse or some other dysfunction in our past, how willing are you to sit and feel that unresolved emotion or feeling, so you can "let go" of it & settle that account out of your life? Don't know how? This page lends some insight on that topic.

Listening... Are you an empathetic listener?

This is one of my personal vices.... I admit it. I'm not a good listener at times, especially when it comes to my husband. I sure want him to listen to me though. The times do happen though, when I can keep my mouth shut long enough to soak in just what he's trying to tell me, and believe me.... it's usually a very insightful experience. It's amazing what we can learn about others as well as ourselves when we choose to keep our mouths shut and empathetically listen to someone.

Mingling with Mindfulness...

Another faux pas of the educated community, is ignoring the fact that most of us are not living "in the present' moment to allow ourselves to be mindful. It's how we solve some of our most difficult blockages, by being mindful of what is happening around us, by what we encounter along the journey of self growth. Let yourself become mindful - it takes practice, but well worth the effort.


Opinion... Everyone seems to have one....

This is a subject that I have had trouble finding information on believe it or not.... Opinions are everywhere, available to us everyday whether we want to listen to them or not! I like opinions. I am curious as to why people believe the way they do! I like to ask some questions after I hear peoples' opinions & try to understand just why they think the way they do. Hoping to learn something from someone's elses belief system is an interesting opportunity. How curious are you about someone elses' opinions? Can you say you even care how anyone else thinks?

even men can learn to live in the present moment!

living in "the present"

Are you always thinking ahead or behind? Many of us are stuck in a rut of a very common avoidance behavior that involves us being preoccupied with what we have experienced in the past, which hinders our growing in the present moment, or always thinking ahead as to what we want to do in our future. taking the time to be "present" in your life allows you to use some of the tools you'll find in The Layer Down Under, to be happier in your life & make some important changes.


Reflections.... how clear is your mirror of opportunity?

That's right, how clear is your mirror of opportunity? Do you take the time to reflect on anything? Does your behavior reflect a certain behavior you're stuck in? Do you even want to go there? Be real with yourself, letting your authentic self be known. Take time to reflect on important subjects, be open, mindful & in the present moment to reflect on just who you are as a person.


Risk Taking ... How Vulnerable will you allow yourself to be? Pretty good question, isn't it?

Life can be extremely hurtful to us at times. I rely on the wisdom of a great book when I think about taking risks.... it's a book that I read when I was a teenager, it seemed to be all the craze back then, but it's wisdom is eternal... the author, kahlil gibran in the book - The Prophet - offers such gems as "how can you know joy if you haven't experienced sorrow?" that's what risk taking is about.... allowing yourself to be open, maybe to sorrow, but what can you learn from that sorrow is my question to you.... what can you learn from letting down your defensive outer shell & learning to take some risks?

Self Esteem.... if only my parents had known about this...  how different would I be today? I ask myself.... it's the topic of the moment it seems.... just how much importance do you put into your self esteem? are you just ignoring the craze? it's not one... it's really an important topic... get where you want to be by learning more about your self esteem on this page...


Another topic that puts us to the test...  are you letting your education stand in the way of being open to spirituality? What do you hold sacred in your belief system? I struggle with this one as well.... 12 steppers are all about their "Higher Power,"

Christians are all about their "God"... Muslims, Jews, Buddhists are all about who they hold sacred in their beliefs as well... what do you truly believe?.... do you think that spirituality is only about religion? Take some time to consider your sense of spirituality in your life...



Now we know that we can be stressed even in the womb. What about that? Geez o Pete! It's amazing what research can tell us these days about stress... learn more about keeping stress out of your life here....


Thoughts & Our Thinking Processes

Not Dinnertime conversation for us baby boomers - that's for sure...

For us it was always the line from our parents, "Because that's what I said!" or "Because that's the way it is!"  Well for us as adults, we have to examine how we think, especially us "boomers." What we believed is most likely, not so, and how we think, is most likely slightly mixed up.... can you be real enough with yourself to really examine & maybe even change how you think about things?


the three newest pages at the layer down under!
boundaries....: something we need to learn about for healthier relationships!
how miserable is your life because your expectations never seem to come to fruition? perhaps we need to evaluate those expectations or get rid of them all together!
humor.... how many people do you wish had a better sense of humor? how about yourself? did you forget that you were supposed to have one?

Here's a story I wrote for Newsvine.com - a group I belong to...
At The End Of Your Day...
by Kathleen Howe

At the end of each day, do you reflect back from the time you woke up and ask yourself, "What did I accomplish today?" or "Who did I touch with something I said or did today?" and honestly take the time to search your day for answers to these questions. Each of us - if we are to live with ourselves in good conscience; must have a deep seeded belief that we are to treat our fellow man as we would like to be treated ourselves. If this is fact, why wouldn't we take the time each day to hold ourselves accountable? Why wouldn't we take the few minutes it would take to account for touching someone elses' life besides our own?

Does it matter what religion we follow in order for this to be of utmost importance to us? Is politics your religion? Do you think more of what candidate lies the most or who will ruin our country the fastest than you do of what you personally can do to change the life of just one person each day you are alive? Is it too difficult for us to reach out to others? Are we too selfish to expect this type of servitude of our own selves? I'm curious, does it hurt too much to try to help someone and they don't respond? What is it that isn't changing our world as we know it? Why aren't we all wallowing in the "love light" of loving our neighbor as our self?

People ask who is responsible for the state of our economy today and the answer is truly visible should one dare to look at it. Who in business has lied today? Take a number, you are responsible for the aching need within the one country in the world that catches the world's eye no matter what happens within. Who in business has been greedy today? Take a number as well, the meat counter is very busy today with "special cuts" of beef being on special. If you can grasp that analogy... think about it some more.

Who in business has disregarded the health and well being of other Americans today while keeping their own needs, wants and benefits in their decision making processes? Who cares about those who don't have what they have in life - like a job? It has been a cut throat, man eat man, woman eat woman world in America's business history in the past twenty-five years and I believe that the state of the economy has been the fat sacrificial pig.

Has capitalism finally met its demise in the true sense of the world? When big business is forced to use the governmental credit card they've been saving to survive - just as millions of Americans have been forced to do for decades, the pot has truly called the kettle black. What gives? I'll tell you. There are not many business people in this world hanging on to the Golden Rule. It's not just business that has shifted to this "easy way" of living. It's government, it's the educational system, it's not a dog eat dog world anymore - people are gnawing their way through other people as if the cannibal special is working its way to extinction. Which it just might be.

I took a week off of Newsvine to see what's happening in my other part of my world and it's going bazonkers! Big time bazonkers... I was forced to see that other people don't give two hoots about what's happening in anyone else's lives because it takes too much time away from their hobbies, their fun, their self serving - time consuming adventures in whatever floats their own individual boats. I got back to my own little world where I chose to make a commitment to myself about having a hobby of substance, one that would help others while I helped myself.

I was confronted with those people with whom my life has revolved for just over six years. I got back to thinking about someone else during the day besides myself. I had to reach down deep to find something within me that would be loving and kind and of help to someone outside of my immediate family. I had to keep on doing all those other things that I do for my family, but keeping my commitment to myself that I would sit at the end of my day and reflect on what I had done for someone else. I committed to making a difference in someone's life every day of my life. Is that too much to ask of anyone?

In today's economy I don't understand how anyone in the banking business can say with good conscience that charging someone $75.00 in an overdraft charge for a check written that was 5 cents short is a good thing to do to someone. I remember when the bank would call me and say, "Did you realize that you were going to be overdrawn when you wrote that check?" before they decided to charge me the $15.00 that I thought was outrageous back then. I remember when my bank honored my word over such a thing.

Now they don't care at all. They will take your money, hundreds of thousands of dollars of your money, but if you make a mistake when subtracting - they'll charge you an arm and a leg which will cause your entire bank book balance to go crazy and you'll end up being charged another few hundred dollars in charges along the way. But the bankers don't go home at night and think about what they did to help anyone anymore. There are many bankers out there who are nervous, anxious and depressed because they can't go to sleep at night because they didn't help anyone that day; in fact, they most likely financially raped someone that day a few hundred times over.

It's not just the bankers. Think about General Motors and their snap team of CEO, Presidents, Vice Presidents, and Directors of every department; too new to the company to know the men that put in thirty two years into the company. Shoot, none of them will ever put thirty two years into a company in this world! There is no more loyalty in business. It's that man eat man world out there, remember? Not one of these administrators of General Motors gives two hoots about the thousands of men and women who worked thirty plus years in the company and who have to pay for health benefits promised to be free for years because of the investment the workers had put into the system.

But that was back when the system was thriving. The system thrived under the pretense of employer/employee loyalty - remember? That was when General Motors was making money hand over fist. That was when people in America worked for General Motors. That was when General Motors had profits every year; enough to have profit sharing among the employees. How many of those executives go home at night and reflect upon how they helped just one American that day?

At the end of your day, no matter what business you are in - who have you helped? Have you taken the time to own up to your own ethics, moral substance and your willingness to give of yourself? How have you helped your neighbor or fellow American? Think about it. What did you do to help the economy today? Who did you financially rape today? Are you a bill collector who harassed the mother of three children, one who has a life threatening illness, to the point that she felt she wanted to kill herself today? Was that chore on your to-do list at work? Get the payment no matter what it takes?

I am willing to bet that there are millions of people who aren't proud of what they do in their business life. What about you? Do you even know about your own family and their needs? Are you filling the needs of your own families emotionally speaking? Do you care about anyone but yourself. Shame on you if you are participating on the financial ruin of America. Shame on you all.

Why would someone spend thousands of hours designing & keeping up these websites to offer free information to others?
I often receive e-mail that asks, "Who are you anyway? Why do you do this? It must take thousands of hours to work on these sites!"
I have to reply - "You're absolutely right! It does take many, many hours each day to work on these sites. I do not make a single penny on any of these sites, so why do I do it?
I use these sites to help others as well as learn everything that is included in them for myself. I read every article & implement as much as I can into my own recovery process.
Helping others is so worthwhile for me. I enjoy working on the computer, receiving e-mail from those trying to help themselves & are stuck with something or need help, and most of all - you can learn so much more from helping others than you'll ever know unless you take on such a venture yourself."
I can only urge you to take the opportunity to send an e-mail for your specific needs & to utilize the underlined link word opportunities as they are so beneficial!
p.s. as for "who am i?" i'm just someone that is just like you - searching for answers in recovery of many dysfunctions & mental illness (post traumatic stress disorder & others) that has made a commitment to helping others.

lifestyle diet


lifestyle diet....


stop thinking "diet" "deprivation" "stop the denial"

to begin thinking "nutrition," fuel for your mind & body & make small consistent & positive lifestyle diet changes!

diet affects:

lifestyle exercise


get motivated to feel good about yourself...

to live is to move....

learn how to start your life all over again after months or years of inactivity or to improve your already established exercise routine for optimal physical & mental health.

Lead by example....


& think of yourself differently....

imagine & see that your efforts are changing the lives of the others around you, as well as your own by leading by example on the path to wellness.


You're an important person.


Build your

lifestyle sleep


Do you know how much sleep you really need to maintain optimum physical & mental wellness? Do you know how your sleep habits can affect the quality of your sleep each night? Learn about how eating can affect sleeping & how sleeping can affect learning & how exercising can affect sleeping.... well... should i keep going? no! just visit the lifestyle sleep page to read all about it!

  • sleep cycles
  • sleep hygeine
  • dreams & nightmares
  • interrupted sleep/insomnia
  • connections between sleep & other lifestyle factors
  • how sleep affects your physical & mental well being

are you a night eater? stuck somewhere between an eating disorder & a sleep disorder, night eaters are searching for answers.... read more about it by clicking the night eating button on the navigation panel to your left & then visit our website -"night eating!"

lifestyle relaxation


relaxation breathing





tai chi



can you believe someone is telling you it's not only okay to relax, it's necessary!?

it's lifestyle changes that allow us to "lighten up" & remember the simple joys in life like...  blowing bubbles....

changes is here to tell you that if you've made the commitment to change your lifestyle - there's help w/in these pages so you can achieve your goals while working your plan! do you need to:

this is the place to begin to learn how to do all that!

lifestyle counseling
lifestyle medication


finding a qualified, experienced & empathetic counselor takes time...
changes is offering some guidelines to follow in your search for those who need some help in understanding how past life experiences, traumas & other crises you may have experienced can affect your life years later...
maybe you're experiencing some serious symptoms of a mental illness & your life is on hold because the symptoms are so overwhelming. it could be you need to take some kind of medication to balance some chemicals in your brain.... when you can relieve the symptoms of a mental illness, you can then begin to work on what's behind it all...




it's time to identify them, process them & resolve them....



" There is nothing stronger than the heart of a volunteer." Author Unknown


Grow, nuture patience, give of yourself without any expectations, help others while helping yourself. Build up your sense of self esteem. Realize what a healthy sense of self esteem is. Contribute something, no matter how small.


" If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible to you."

Matthew 17:20


Realign your priorities. Make time to be a community participant, whether you do it from your home, your neighborhood or your country.


Participate in & model the American Spirit.

changes is part of ....
"the emotional feelings network of sites".....

why visit all the separate sites in the network?
each site has its own special message that could possibly answer personal & individually specific questions for figuring out your personal puzzles. everyone has different problems but all of us share the same reasons for carrying on those problems.... we just don't know how to get out of the hole...
each site may help you somewhere in your journey to figure out the answers to your own personal questions. solve your own personal puzzle. that's what life is all about.
here at changes... you can go to a page designated for each site in the network to get a feel for how that site might help you.... just go to each... why wait? you may be postponing for no good reason the possibility of turning on a light bulb in your darkened hallways of your mind.

Which of the following factors do you think is the primary barrier to your patients living a healthy lifestyle? An inability to...

Eat Healthfully - 7%
Exercise Regularly - 15%
Stop Smoking - 4%
All of the Above - 70%
None of the Above - 2%
Medscape Poll

Total Responses: 4031
Poll conducted 31-Jul-2003 - 08-Aug-2003

i just gotta say it

"i've just gotta say it!"


November 2008


kathleen howe


I've just gotta say it...

I've been doing a great deal of self reflection work this month. I haven't been good to myself and it's time that habit stopped forever. How about that? I not only wish that I'd made this commitment to myself much sooner; I wish that I had realized the importance of being good to ones' self. Does this sound like something you would be able to admit about yourself? Think about it for awhile and then continue thinking about it until you come up with a concrete conclusion. 


I made a commitment to myself about the emotional feelings network of sites and I've kept my word. I made that commitment when there was only one site. Although the one site grew into a network of 28+ sites - I've kept my commitment of continuing to work on these sites and hold them close to my heart. Therefore, along with the realization that things have changed for me since that initial commitment - especially in the arena of personal growth and recovery - I just want to be sure that everyone who is a fan of this network realizes that I'm going to work on in the coming year, making some very profound changes in the sites.


I have always kept the sites limited in space because they are free sites; but now I have started with this site, paying a monthly fee to keep the site packed full of information past the economy level of "freedom," to allow this site to grow in size instead of opening up anymore sites. Now I have to pay for this site because it is well over the "free" amount of space and is continuing to grow because I'm paying the fee. I'm still not working so this is difficult. I can't say that I'm not working - these sites are a lot of work!

And I have begun sending out agent query letters in an attempt to publish my first book, titled, "Triggered" which has to do with my real life living with post traumatic stress disorder, depression and the night eating disorder that I lived with most of my life.


So that's work, too, especially writing - that's lots of work. I have also begun sending out agent query letters for the children's books I have written. I am pursuing my dream. This is the first step I am making in keeping true to the second commitment I've ever made to myself. I have committed to being good to myself so I am no longer allowing my self fulfilling prophecy of failure deemed by my father when I was only eighteen years old to be true. I am going to be a very successful author and business woman and I am counting on myself to make it happen.


Therefore - I'm spending the $10.00 a month it takes to maintain this site. Before long, that cost could double, triple - well there's 28+ sites and that's enough sites, they'll just have to cost me money from now on to make them all larger! You must realize that I've spent so many hours on these sites for seven years that I'd never be able to count them, but I've loved every minute of it.


My favorite part of the sites has been meeting all of you out there. You all have made a profound difference in my life. I've been so inspired and encouraged through the emails exchanged and the friendships formed throughout my seven years with the emotional feelings network of sites - I just can't describe the depth of emotion and feeling that has touched my heart through my correspondences with all of you. Thank you!


I can't imagine every leaving the sites behind, truly. It warms my heart to hear from you all and I know how painful and difficult life can be at times. I just hope that something you find here helps you.



My goals for my children's books are to have the proceeds from those books go to a special fund for parents and children's mental health needs. I'm so hoping to start up a foundation that allows parents who need help with their mental health and don't have insurance to get the help they need. This is a big goal, but I have big ideas and now that I'm going to be good to myself - I'm going to be successful with this venture. Children need mental health counseling as well. I think that there's also a huge need for a mental health assessment for all teachers. Teachers have such an impact upon our children while they spend so much of their time in the classroom and unfortunately - I've seen too many teachers needing a mental health assessment and no one has funding for those types of things. Perhaps this foundation will be able to help with that project as well.


I've also been attending to my "needs" in my new commitment to being good to myself. I've just recently gone to a sleep clinic here at Kettering Hospital and I've been to visit a new psychological nurse practitioner who evaluates you for medication needs, which I am trying to get straight with. I've also started to go to counseling again, after having my PTSD triggered again. My brains have been almost solid mush lately in changing meds and dealing with PTSD symptoms once again, but I'm fighting it. I won't give up. I'm doing what I need to do to be healthy both mentally and physically.


Therefore, in keeping with my newest commitment, I'm hoping that you'll end up seeing more to help you here at the emotional feelings network of sites. Making some money will allow me to spend more time and money right here - finding information, answering emails and helping those whom I can help in some way. I hope that this month you'll begin to see changes here at the homepage of the network.


I hope this month finds you all well and ready to share a Thanksgiving Dinner with someone that you love or care about!

You Are Always Happy!
By Alan Michael Ross 

When you ask someone, ‘What is the purpose of life?’, most people, after much umming & ahhing, say something like, ‘to be happy’. 

We all have the desire to be happy.  ‘Happy’ is some conglomeration of feeling good – light, free, strong, flowing – & not feeling bad – nothing to worry about, no fears & concerns

This is what drives us.  If you observe yourself for a day you’ll see that in every situation we move away from situations where we don’t feel good & towards that which we think will have us feel good.  Right? 

But what if the place we're looking for happiness is the wrong place?

Our main thought, even if we aren't aware of it, is that happiness is out there & over there.  A misconception that things ‘out there’ MAKE us happy & so, GIVE us happiness

If I can just get the world to look the way I want, if this happens, if I have that, if I'm doing this… then I'll be happy… in the future.  And if we get there, we’ll GET it. 

So, we plan & do things that'll hopefully result in us being happy with our lot in life.  And this is our continual struggle & why life can sometimes be very tiring!  Come on happiness, where did you go? 

I know you're around here somewhere!

The thing is this, happiness is NOT a thing!  A good job can’t GIVE it to us, our new clothes can’t GIVE it to us & our favourite car can’t GIVE it to us. 

How many times have you had a car turn around to you & say, "There you go there’s a box of happiness, it’s for you!"

Several years ago I was sitting on a beach in Hawaii, where I was living, watching the sun set on the Pacific Ocean & I was NOT happy!  I was thinking, if I could just have this, be there, do that, THEN I'll be happy

Then the shock of the contrast hit me.  Well this is paradise, if I’m not happy here, where?!  So I thought back & remembered that a few months before I wasn’t happy thinking, if I could just get that job in Hawaii, live there, go to the beach, paradise, THEN I’ll be happy

And I went back & back.  Same pattern.  What if it’s not that ‘out there’ that makes me happy?  Maybe it’s what I'm bringing to the party!  Maybe it’s not a THING I can GET from out there?

So what is it if it’s not a thing that we can get?  It’s a state of being.  You aren't having happy, you’re not doing happy, you’re BEING happy.  Starts to sound pretty elusive at this point, right?! 

Yes & no.  The good news is that happiness is our natural state. Why? Because we're happy when we're being ourselves. 

Happiness is like the sun behind the clouds.  It's always there.  It’s just that what we think & do has us being some thing other than happy, like anxious, stressed, worried, bored & doubtful

You're always happy, you're just not aware of it because you're paying attention to something else!

So, how do we experience our happiness?  This state of being our true selves. Well here are some pointers.

You can only be happy now!

If you notice yourself for one day you'll see that in the majority of moments you want something else other than what's happening now – we're UNHAPPY WITH NOW! 

We think that, if it was like this, if he didn’t do that, if I had this, then it would be better.  When we set goals or think about what we want in life it is always, I'll be happy when I have this, do that, sort this situation out in the FUTURE.  But tomorrow never comes.  And the cycle continues.  You can only be happy now!

The very thought that happiness is ‘over there’ means that it’s ‘not here’ & that becomes your experience.  Your mind is like a Xerox machine, it simply copies your thoughts that generate your experience. 

So, what to do?  Know that happiness is a NOW experience.  You can only experience your being happy now.  And if you keep waiting for it, it'll wait.  Accept your circumstance now & be happy.

Focus on what you want

Many times what stops us from being happy now is that we're being concerned, anxious, even fearful of the future – we're UNHAPPY WITH THE FUTURE! 

This can be the next 15 minutes, hour, day, or week.  So what are we doing?  Simple, we're focussing on what we don’t want to happen.  Thinking about all the things, that could happen, that you don’t want & not being happy about them! 

Stop doing that to yourself!  It doesn’t feel good!

So it’s simple.  When you catch yourself worrying about the future, notice that you're thinking about what you don’t want & think AGAIN!  Best not hold on too tight though. I suggest you…

Let go & flow!

In our desire to reduce ‘bad situations’ & increase ‘good situations’, we continuously monitor & control with our minds.  I have to do this, sort that out, make sure this happens & on & on. This creates stress

We're still thinking that we can only be happy when xyz happens & worrying that if we don’t control it, it won't happen.

What to do?  Realize that your being happy is nothing to do with what ‘happens’ & be happy NOW.  Decide what you want then let it goTrust in yourself & let the results flow.

A technique to make all this possible

This technique
is so simple that it may be dismissed. 
But try it for yourself & you'll see.  It’s simple, but it may not be easy… to begin with anyway, because it's the opposite of what you're doing now, but like anything it gets easier with practice & becomes habitual.  AND it'll change your life.  Ready?

WATCH!  That’s it.  Watch, observe, listen... whatever you want to call it.  Observe your thoughts, feelings & things that are happening.  No need to judge, analyze or get involved. 

Simply watch!  You may have thoughts come up about what you're doing as you're doing this but just watch them go by as well!  It’s the passing parade. No need to get involved. They're merely ‘suggestions’ for you to consider, or not.

What happens?  You begin to realize that everything is just a thought & you can choose to take it on & get involved, or not.  You begin to connect to more of your experience, rather than being distracted

You feel free, calm, centered, stronger, with peace of mind… sounds like being happy!

The secret

So what do you discover?  There are no ‘bad situations’ or ‘good situations’!  Only that which you think they are. The meaning you put on them.  Like ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’. 

You create your own good & bad by your thoughts about things.  So, you have the power to let that go…  And BE happy NOW!

Happiness Coach, Alan Michael Ross, is dedicated to helping people improve their experience of life with THE HAPPINESS PROGRAM. Get his FREE 101-day Self-Awareness Coaching Programme and more FREE resources by visiting www.HappinessZone.com.


it's e-mail from you all .... you who visit my sites that keeps me encouraged to work these sites & motivated to continue to update them....  
take some time to think about the fact that i began with one website, a few years ago....
i was depressed, anxious, dissociating regularly....   i found the counselor that could diagnose me with ptsd......   & i realized that my recovery depended on me helping myself thru helping others....  click here to send me an e-mail & say hello!

thanks for visiting changes! hope to see you back soon in support of those positive healthy changes you are wanting to make!

the following web links are provided for your convenience in visiting the source sites for some of the information on this page:

help the red cross help hurricane victims!

Click here to visit the Red Cross page that allows you to access your local chapter of the Red Cross by entering your zip code in the specified box, to see how you can help in your area.

thanks for visiting changes!
this website is part of the emotional feelings network of sites...
for more emotions, feelings & important info
this is simply an informational website concerning emotions & feelings. it does not advise anyone to perform methods -treatments - practice described within, endorse methods described anywhere within or advise any visitor with medical or psychological treatment that should be considered only thru a medical doctor, medical professional, or mental health professional.  in no way are we a medical professional or mental health professional.